Horticultural Society Aims to Plant One Million Trees, Destroy Sidewalks for Future Generations

The Pennsylvania Horticultural Society has recently unveiled their multi-year project, Plant One Million. The bold initiative aims to revitalize Philly by planting one million trees in the Philadelphia region and turning city hall into The Tree of Souls from Avatar.

As of now, the city has about 16% tree coverage, which seems surprisingly high. Now, we’re all for more trees and anything green for that matter, but the idea of one millions trees sounds a lot better in a press release than it does when actually imagine how the influx of foliage would affect future generation’s daily lives.

Picture that one sidewalk in South Philly with the ONE sad tree that completely ruins the entire idea of a sidewalk. Now multiply that by one million. Nevermind the excess bird shit falling from overhead and subsequent shadows that will provide criminals with a multitude of sanctuaries, you’re going to need alpine boots and a pick-axe to get around in about twenty years if the city actually agrees to this.

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