The John Bolaris Twitter War

Gossip columnists are buzzing this week because, well, that’s what they naturally do, but also because John Bolaris recently made one huge and stinky name-drop on Twitter. Bolaris tweeted to Howard and Beth Stern, telling them to cancel their Vermont vacation because of the intense flooding from Hurricane Irene. Interestingly enough, I had to cancel my own trip to the Green Mountains for the same reason, but I didn’t bother telling Howard Stern because I lack that incomparable Bolaris gravitas and I assume the Sterns have access to basic cable and/or an FM radio.

Bolaris has been subjected to some pretty nasty commentary online but I can’t say it’s all unjust. There’s his, mistaken storm of the century, constant talk of new and highly attractive girlfriends, the quite unforgettable Miami debacle in which Bolaris was duped and drugged by some Eastern European swindlers, the subsequent “DO SHOT” catchphrase which is apparently what the scammers said to John, and there was this:

But on top of all this, John now has to deal with FakeJohnBolaris on Twitter. It should be noted that no one knows who FakeJohnBolaris is but his tweets, while somewhat insensitive, are undeniably funny. And while I never really feel sorry for celebrities (and I use that term lightly), Bolaris genuinely seems like a nice guy who just keeps getting dumped on for no apparent reason.

A local blog, Philadelphia Will Do, posted and way too in-depth article detailing the entire exchange between the real and fake John Bolaris. We have to warn you, Lenny Dykstra somehow gets involved and the whole thing will give you way too much insight into John Bolaris (and his his poor grammar) than anyone would ever want.

Nevertheless, we’re to lazy to painstakingly replicate the article so we’ll just direct you to the original post.

Special thanks to Philadelphia Will Do. Photo by

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