Student athletes at Villanova may want to take a moment before they post their next sexual conquest on Facebook or Twitter, as the University is adding a tactical espionage unit to their ranks.
Villanova, which already tracks basketball players online, announced that they’ll be forcing all student athletes to join a third party agency that monitors Facebook and Twitter. Does this include the chess team? I hear those guys know how to party.
Anyway, the school will use Varsity Monitor, which is a company entirely dedicated to keeping a watchful eye on college athletes’ online presence. Sidenote: That has to be one of the most entertaining jobs I can think of, just behind Richard Branson’s personal assistant in outer space.
The school’s concern is that high profile players may divulge information that could damage their players’ deflectless reputations or, more importantly, the school’s pristine image. Local hottie Jay Wright, Villanova’s basketball coach, is concerned that certain players are/were “too popular” on various social media sites (Grindr), indicating that the media could pick up on their status updates which presumably offer fecklesss quotes from Eminem songs (“you only get one shot / do not miss the chance to blow”).
As expected, some students are angered by the new policy. Talking to NBC, one track athlete stated, “Things that I make private, I don’t believe that they should have access to that.”
Well, she should have thought of that before she decided to work hard, go to college and become a well-rounded student athlete.