Proof of Balance in the Multiverse: Ackerman Denied Unemployment Pay

Arlene Ackerman might as well be the real-life version of Skeletor, as she’s quite clearly the most hated non-fictional character in Philadelphia since that two-faced Larry Mendte betrayed us all (we should have never trusted you Mendte, never).

After receiving a $905,000 buyout to just stop doing her job, the former superintendent and highest paid public employee in PA whipped out a move not even the most arrogant of corporate CEO’s would make: she filed for unemployment.

Sure, the most she could receive per week would be $573, or .06% of her buyout, but hey, a girl’s gotta eat, right?

Thankfully for the sanity of us all and the balance of the multiverse, word comes today that Ackerman has been denied her unemployment request. She talked with NBC 10 yesterday, saying, “I’m not fighting anymore…I’m moving on with my life, and I pray for the children of Philadelphia.” Well, she should pray, the school districts are in worse shape than ever.

Unfortunately, since she won’t have that precious extra cash, Ackerman will have just a little less to fund her new consulting company, The Ackerman Education Strategies Group. She’ll also have to dip into her millions to afford the requisite number of suede, tasseled jackets and turquoise earrings to assimilate to her new lair/state of residence, New Mexico.


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