The humongous ad and shopping megatron known as Xfinity Live will be opening at the end of this month to cover up the bones of our beloved Spectrum and send our pregame expenses to an all-time high. While some may gripe that Philly’s new “Comcast District” is a change for the worse, I’ve never been one to bad mouth a solid monopoly.
But there is one thing that’s bugging me. According to Xfinity Live‘s info page, the new adult ball-pit/fun zone extravaganza, future home to an NBC Sports Arena, Broad Street Bullies Pub and a 700-square-foot Mitchell & Ness, will have a dress code- a rather strict dress code.
After perusing the rules, it’s fairly obvious to see that whoever came up with them is either not from Philadelphia or just screwing with us, because they’ve pretty much managed to exclude our entire city, or at least, anyone who would ever bring their escort/significant other to Xfinity Live for pregame jalapeno poppers.
Here are the rules for all you loin-clothed heathens:
- NO profanity on clothing
- NO sleeveless shirts on men
- NO excessively torn clothing
- NO excessively baggy or sagging clothing
- NO full sweat suits and sweatpants
- NO exposed undergarments on men
- NO excessively long clothing (when standing upright with arms at your side, shirt cannot extend beyond fingers)
Management reserves the right to refuse admission to or eject any person whose conduct is deemed to be disorderly or who fails to comply with the terms of entry. Please note that the dress code of individual venues may vary.
Wow, talk about alienating your base. I doubt that the ordained corporate gods who will rule Xfinity’s domain could even enforce these standards on their own employees, let alone the endless and massive herds of drunken Eagles fans.
Still, the parking is free, so someone is going to compromise here. We’ll see who caves on March 30th, when Xfinity opens and the barbarians are let through the gate.