The grudge match between Cowboys fans and Eagles fans will no doubt be everlasting.
Imagine, if you will, that the entire world undergoes some cataclysmic nuclear disaster and an eventual schism between the remaining hoards of mutant freaks. Two clans would inevitably emerge– one comprised of deformed-dog packs and their Michael Vick-worshipping-masters and another made up of mangled night-walkers whose only form of currency is Jimmy Johnson-endorsed ExtenZe pills.
For now, though, the prematurely exhalted 2012-2013 Eagles team has the upper hand, as the Cowboy organization has just made a rather historic blunder- one that Philly fans, I’m sure, are already using a fodder for a new and especially non-PC chant.
You’d think that the Cowboys, being a part of the mongo conglomerate that is the NFL, would constantly check their preusmptive GoDaddy account, but, unfortunately for every red-meat-eating, Marlboro-smoking Cowboys fan, someone at the organization screwed up big time. So now the website, Cowboys.com, has morphed into what is arguable the antithesis of a grueling footaball team. Yes, we’re serious: Cowboys.com is now a gay dating site.
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Described as “an online dating community for men who enjoy the same country living lifestyle,” the site seems play into the wholeBrokeback Mountain scene (which may or may not exist), asking potential daters, “Are you a country western cowboy looking for a man to ride into the sunset with? Come and create relationship with singles share your appreciation for the country way of life. You’ll be able to find your perfect match here.”
It turns out that the Cowboys bid on the site in 2007 and, apparently, won that bid. But due to a “mixup” (an understatement, in hindsight), the deal was prevented. Fast forward five years later and instead of an inflammatory discussions on last night’s shoddy defense, you’ll find first date suggestion from gay Cowboys, including, “CANDLELIGHT DINNER AND MOVIE WITH A MILK BATH AT THE END.”
The fluctuating Eagles-Cowboys feud will, I’m sure, find the Cowboys on top at some point in the coming seasons. But for now, I think the ranks of Philly fans can stand down and just allow Cowboys fans to wallow in their own existential, er, confusion.