Anorexic dudes is a trend that’s been years in the making, but I have noticed an explosion of calorie-counters of the straight male persuasion recently.
I used to dance, so I’ve been around a ton of girls who eat a bowl of chicken broth and faint mid-allegro or slyly sneak away into the bathroom next to the dressing room to take a second look at their pizza.
Anorexic dudes are different in a seemingly illogical sense. You’d assume that they’d feel a bit effeminate (and, therefore, embarrassed) to admit to dieting, but they seem pretty damn proud of themselves.
They’re either bragging about the amount of time they’ve gone without food or making disapproving comments on others’ food choices (often mine, since I am the anti-anorexic).
And they’re all like, “How can you guys drink a frappucino? They have like 500 calories and so much sugar.” What? Britney Spears drinks them, OK? I eat and drink everything she does. And they always say, “I only get hungry once a day.” What’s up with that? Normal metabolisms don’t work that way. They just don’t. You can do that sometimes, but not every damn day.
Another commonality I’ve noticed: every single anorexic dude I’ve ever known wears tight black jeans. Seriously. Every one. And they all have large heads (think anorexic Christina Ricci). Most of them roll their own cigarettes, too, but, again, I’m getting carried away. Most of them believe they are the quintessence of cool. It’s true.
Have you ever had one of these bodies on top of you? I don’t like it. I don’t mean having sex, I mean hanging out. On top of you. Well, it’s happened to me. It’s all very bohemian, let me tell you.
AroundPhilly Staff
