Rick Santorum’s Mysterious and Enchanted Sweater Vest Holds Untold Power

In their quest for president, many candidates offer all sorts of trinkets in exchange for campaign donations, sort of like how NPR gives out $80 travel mugs during their dreaded fundraisers. But one item currently being sent to Rick Santorum’s supporters is rumored to be much more mystical than a WHYY tote bag.

For $100, contributors will receive an embroidered sweater vest imbued with a mysterious and magical power that provides its wearer with good fortune and the strength to conquer local governments. No, really.

Santorum wore the vest throughout the Iowa Caucus (which, we later found out, he actually won) and the former PA Senator maintains that the item was more than a fashion statement: It was also a good luck charm. His staffers must have thought so too, as they started offering the talisman to campaign supporters.

The wool and acrylic sweater is produced at Bemidji Woolen Mills and even its makers have witnessed its strange enchantment first-hand. Owner Bill Batchelder, who sounds more like Rasputin than an American merchant, claims,  ”Bemidji full well knows the power of the vest. When the Bemidji Area Chamber of Commerce started taking them down to the Capitol, they took the Capitol by storm.”

Of course, Batchelder’s belief in the dark power of the vest may have something to do with his allegiance to Santorum as a candidate, “I really, really like what he says about Main Street America, and the heart and soul of communities – the downtown. If the downtown is strong, then the rest of it takes care of itself.”

I think we’ll hold out for Ron Paul’s sock garter. I hear if you wear them you can fly.

Source|Photos: The Bemidji Pioneer

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Chris Lipczynski

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