In move that would drastically alter the course of the United States and possibly stay off the approaching Jers-pocalypse, New Jersey state legislators may decide to legally ban minors from tanning salons. As it stands now, New Jersey bars anyone under the age of 14 from tanning booths, but, if the new measure is adopted, fist-pumpers under the age 18 would have to tan the old fashioned way (baby oil, that aluminum foil thing and a foolhardy ignorance of cancer statistics).
The initiative is clearly a response to the now-infamous Patricia Krentcil (Crispy NJ Mom as we like to call her) who allegedly burned her daughter in a tanning booth and then denied it whilst rocking a deep-space-inspired tan that would make George Hamilton blood red with envy. The measure is being presented to the State Assembly’s Women and Children Committee today. According to ABC, Vermont and California are the only other states that ban minors from tanning booths.
But what does all this mean exactly? Well, if the legislation is adopted, it would effectively hinder the coming Jersey Shore lineage, which, in a few years, could turn the entire state in a sentient high-tech t-shirt.
Source: ABC News