Can Social Media Thwart Philly’s Reckless ATV Riders?

Summer is here, and that means our annual plague of marauding ATV riders will soon descend on the streets of Philadelphia to scare the shit out you when you least expect it and pop a wheelie in grandma’s face.

Officially, the city employs a “do no pursue” policy for off road vehicles. But just a few months back, a 14-year-old was killed on a dirt bike while the PPD was (allegedly) chasing him. His mother intends to sue the city.

Now authorities are ready to deal with the deadly nuisance. They’ve even got a plan. Ok, it’s not so much a plan as it is a half-assed shot in the dark.

The PPD is calling on the public to use Twitter and Facebook to locate where ATVs and dirt bikes are being sold and stored throughout the city. In an NBC report, Lieutenant Evers was clearly grasping at straws, “Do you know a location? Maybe there’s some backwoods or someone’s backyard.” Maybe there’s a rogue ATV clan in the sewer system? I don’t know… like in Demolition Man.

We’re all for the PPD’s recent move to the cyber world, and, in our opinion having officers use Twitter is a sure sign of the city’s commitment to public progress. But let’s not get lazy here, guys. Social media isn’t some magical wonderland that instantly solves all your problems- especially if your problem is a rogue Yamaha death-bike with 80 horsepower.

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Chris Lipczynski

A graduate of Temple University, Chris Lipczynski continually spreads himself too thin, endeavoring in documentary films, “computer music,” first-person shooters, and manly hikes through the wilderness. Follow him on Twitter for daily musings and meaningless philosophical reflections: @RealChrisFlip.

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