Crispy New Jersey Mom No Longer Crispy

At last, we can pen the final chapter in the Crispy New Jersey Mom Chronicles and end our regrettable jaunt into the world of grocery store tabloids. You may remember that basically of all of America simultaneously freaked out on the overly tanned mom after authorities alleged she burned her daughter in a tanning booth last May. Then TMZ and a host of other shit-rags (I guess that includes us) picked up the story, making Patricia’s life a living hell and prolonging the somewhat comical, albeit, lousy news story.

Now Patricia has put the finishing touches on her 15 minutes of fame, by giving the standard In Touch Magazine follow-up interview, which pretty much guarantees her permanent irrelevance for the rest of her days.

She still maintains that she never took her child tanning, but every tanning salon east of the Delaware River isn’t buying it, and they’ve subsequently banned her from tanning. Thus, tanning mom is no longer tanning (as much) and she has since started resembling a real human being.

Source: Daily Mail

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