Most Philly sports fan are quick to fly off the handle, especially in times like these–when the Eagles are about as electrifying as a Charlie Rose interview. But a certain percentage of these fans are of a different breed, the type that seems to subconsciously project their own self-worth onto a professional sports team, thus allowing their own emotions and every-day outlook to be colored by the outcome of the most recent game.
We’ve all encountered these people, whether they’re Philly fans or not. (During my first Eagles game, a quaint, elderly couple sporting a Red Skins throw blanket was verbally and publicly eviscerated by a burly drunk with two Eagles helmets dangling from his fatty lobes.)
It’s these types of people who perpetuate our reputation as the most heinous sports town in the country, and despite the fact that many of us tend to embrace the legendary status, there’s clearly something else going on when you instinctively know not to talk to “Phil Fan” because the Birds lost last night.
Just take this rather revealing anecdote from Redditor MrMentallo, in which he recounts his experience with one particularly savage Eagles fan and somewhat evinces the aforementioned theory, albeit, with a happy ending.
I was 15 and moved to Philly from Texas. I had a pretty strong accent and had never been out of the state before so I didn’t know what to expect socially. On my first day of school I had the bad judgement to wear a Dallas Cowboys jersey thinking people will just laugh. Throughout the day, I got a few dirty looks and a few “you’ve got balls” comments. Last period goes by and I’m waiting for my bus out front when this huge guido comes up and starts talking shit. I tell him to piss up a rope and he knocks me out in one punch. He gets suspended and I’m told not to antagonize things.
Time goes by and he’s a constant pain in my life bullying me around on a weekly basis. He outweighed me by about 75 pounds thanks to his steroid use and had a temper to match. I got my ass kicked many times thanks to him and his manipulations. We graduate and I don’t see him for a few years.
I had always been into cooking and decided that’s what I wanted to do with my life so I went to culinary school and started working in the industry. I worked my way up the ladder quickly thanks to focus, a willingness to sacrifice a social life and hard work. A few years later I was the executive chef of a small bistro and we had a policy of taking a prisoner on work release from the county jail as part of a rehabilitation program.
The owner was a great guy who grew up without guidance and made some bad decisions early in life that got him thrown in jail for a few years. He got out, got a job as a dishwasher where the owner of that place saw some promise and took him under his wing giving him the life lessons he never got from his family and so on. This was his way of paying forward what he got. We had gone through a few guys that seemed to do well and so far the program was working out well.
One day we were slated to get a new guy and guess who walks in the door… He doesn’t notice me at first but then is introduced to me as his direct boss. The owner starts to introduce me but I interrupt saying that we already know each other quite well and need no introductions. I told the owner about our history not leaving any details out and he asks me what I want to do. I tell him give me a few minutes in the walk in (large walk in refrigerator that is soundproof) with him and it’s all good. I take him in there and ask him why he was in jail and where he was in his head. I also told him how I would treat him was up to him and that this could go well or he could turn right around and go right back to jail. He ended up breaking down and spilling his heart out. Between drugs, an abusive household and having no real friends in school due to a total lack of social skills, he had no idea how to have a real relationship. He told me that the days he would kick my ass were the days after his old man would beat him when he got drunk.
His life just went downhill after school and he ended up getting busted for dealing. I told him to clean himself up and I’d do my best to show him how to get his shit together. He ended up being one of the hardest workers I have ever seen. Five years later he ended up being my sous chef. He has his own restaurant now and we guest chef at each other’s place all the time. I wouldn’t trade his friendship for the world.