Sure, DailyCandy did this first. But we don't care. Who says Philly doesn't deserve their own vocab? I mean, we already created the phrase Whiz wit, for the sole purpose of ordering cheesesteaks. We took it a step further though, given all the gossip and juicy backstabbing that goes on this city. Below you'll find our list of words that are apropo for Philly drinking, gossiping and general media and press whispers. Enjoy!
ACnile
n. The inevitable delusion shared by both Philadelphians and suburbanites that a late-night trip to AC is a good idea and/or the only remaining outlet for inebriated fun. Note: often spawned from excessive drinking and/or last call in Philadelphia.
I was so ACnile last night that I hopped on the AC Expressway at 3AM… too bad I woke up in a ditch with the windshield wipers on instead of at the Water Club.
Beerosphere
n. The collection of self-proclaimed ‘beer snobs’ who drink only craft beers and sneer at any mention of “Anheuser Busch." Often found at hipster meccas such as North 3rd and/or Local 44.
Please don’t order a Budweiser in front of my new beau; he’s a secret member of the Beerosphere.
Blognitive Dissonance
n. The delusion that one’s blog content is important and/or interesting.
Who does he think he is, Perez Hilton? He has a serious case of Blognitive Dissonance.
Boredwalk
v. The tendency to search for the next best thing (whether bar, club, or girlfriend) when drunk in the city; often results in visiting such places as Pearl, Denim or Pure. (Also see: ACnile, G-String)
My feet are killing me—these shoes weren’t prepared for a 12-block Boredwalk.
Crypt Club
n. The unfortunate realization that one’s chosen strip club is frequented by a pack of would-be elderly patrons and even more disturbingly, strippers.
I feel like I should be ready to dial 911 when I get a lap dance at that Crypt Club over on 95.
Dining Under the Influence (DUI)
v. The PR-driven writing produced by the slew of dining reviewers whose well being depends on payment from advertisers. Also see Edipuss Complex.
Thank God Philly Mag’s “Top 50 Restaurants” feature is for real… I was starting to suspect them of Dining Under the Influence.
E-ggressor
n. Someone who confronts strictly over text messaging or email; often described as "computer nerds, skinny bullies and predators who can’t fill the suit to step out from behind their computers and iPhones."
If I would have known he was such an E-gressor, I would never have given him my BBM pin.
Gadzookites
n. Mindless followers of Preston and Steve, often characterized by overused phrases such as “hey bitches” or “you guys rock!”
P&S are funny, but I hate listening to all those Gadzookites… I liked Kidd Chris’ aggressive fan base way better.
G-String
n. The string of partygoers who stand outside of G lounge in hopes of catching a glimpse of a C-List celebrity.
I don’t care if Winnie from Wonder Years is in town… I am not standing in that G-String so I can fork over $20 for entry.
Hot-pedaled
adj. Bikers who enjoy the privileges of car drivers, but refuse to obey the rules of the road. Tactics include blowing through stop signs, hitting cars with their hands, taking up a full lane and/or using harsh words to defend themselves against larger vehicles.
If the city wants to make extra money, they should start ticketing those hot-pedaled bikers.
Jose Garsex
n. The guarantee that taking your date to any of Jose’s Garces’ restaurants will guarantee you a roll in the hay.
I knew the minute we ordered drinks downstairs at Chifa that I was getting Jose Garsex that night.
KYWTF
n. The shock that results when the traffic report for 76 is horribly wrong.
My boss hates when I’m late, but I can't help if I'm a victim of KYWTF.
Meano’s
n. The people who work at Geno’s and require everyone (including foreigners and tourists) to order a certain way… or risk being ignored.
I really wanted mushrooms and onions, but the Meano made me so nervous all I could do was stutter "Whiz" when I got to the window.
Meter Maniacs
n. PPA staff members who lurk around the meters waiting for your 25-cent minute to be up.
$36 for one extra minute? These meter maniacs are getting way out of hand.
Mexual Healing
Having one of Distrito’s fish tacos and feeling instantly better about your life.
My friend finally broke up with her low-life boyfriend, I'm taking her out for some Mexual Healing.
Phauxlebrity
n. Pseudo celebrities who frequent Philly’s press events and clubs, entertaining the delusion that they are in some way famous (or important).
Alicia Lane is only popular for breaking the law (or dating a washed-up radio host, if you want to get into it). She's such a Phauxlebrity.
Phillebriated
n. Extremely intoxicated patrons who wander the streets declaring their love for Philly. Note: said persons often accessorize with cheesy T-shirts, foam fingers and ugly girlfriends. (Also see Philligerent)
I have tons of love for Philly, but getting Phillebriated is never a good way to show it.
Philligerent
adj. The word coined to describe overzealous Philly sports fans who’ve had one too many.
As soon as I heard Kalas call us the "world champions of baseball," I knew I was going to get completely Philligerent.
Phugly Bettys
n. The crew of females who have single-handedly attracted the most hated Philly nickname, “Ugliest City.”
I am so sick of everyone using the Phugly Bettys as leverage for calling Philly ugly... I get my highlights done at Pierre & Carlo, for heaven's sake!
ProCD
n. The false belief that club owners need to use a promoter in order to bring crowds to their event.
Denim's owners are so ProCD... I would never go to a party on account of Mike Fazio.
Raunch Party
n. People who whore themselves out at every launch (whether bar, club, restaurant, store, or media outlet) in search of free SWAG. (Also see: Phauxlebrity)
The gift bags at Cashman’s event were awesome… too bad the Raunch Party made it there before we did.
Shitty Limits
n. The fine line that exists between ‘up and coming’ and downright ghetto neighborhoods, often varying from block to block.
The post on Craigslist said Northern Liberties, but it was more like North Philly. Isn’t he familiar with the Shitty Limits?
SInflation
n. Various city offices’ attempt to steal money from unsuspecting citizens (examples: PPA, PGW, etc) It’s also been rumored that it’s he fourth commandment in Philadelphia’s scroll of city initiatives, and/or part of the City Wage Tax.
I wish I took Sinflation into account when I signed the lease for my new apartment.
Skankadelphia
n. The women who frequent such spots as the Bud Light hottie cam, bikini contents, and Mike Fazio’s promotion materials.
Maxim spread or not, Lauren Harris is still the leader of Skankadelphia.
Snobitorial
n. The overly pretentious content that formerly occupied the pages of Philly’s most popular publications (Also see: Edipuss Complex)
How can you even read STYLE? It’s purely Snobitorial.
Square Waldorf
n. Women who frequent spots such as Rouge and Parc, in an effort to (unsuccessfully) channel their Upper East Side counterpart, Blair Waldorf. (Also see Rittenhouse Cougars)
Dining al fresco is barely any fun since the arrival of those overzealous Square Waldorfs.
Think we are the smartest people you know for writing this article? Think we're the dumbest? E-mail us at: Miss@aycmedia.com to vent.
Have Philly Lexicons of your own? Let us know and we'll add your suggestions to our Aroundphilly Lexicon Part Deux! E-mail Miss@aycmedia.com with your additions.
FROM OUR MAILBOX
BEST "LOVED IT "MAIL: On Jun 11, 2009, at 5:42 PM, "Alicia M." wrote:
"Effing hysterical! . . .I live in Philly and you're so right on with some of these. (even if I hate to admit some). Good work and thanks for the much needed laugh!"
BEST "HATED IT" MAIL: On Jun 9, 2009, at 2:39 PM, Philebrity.com wrote:
Not only did you jack wholesale an idea from Daily Candy, you also poorly, poorly wharfed a long-standing post category on Philebrity:
http://www.philebrity.com/category/the-philebrity-lexicon/
